SORRY

Sorry this post has taken so long but I have been very busy. I won't complain, because the other day when I told Kyle I was tired he said "yes, unemployment must be exhausting". It is Kyle, it is.

Today I decided I would go to the grocery store after the gym. I grabbed some cash to use and I didn't want to spend more than $40 because I didn't want to have to carry more than that home and over exert myself. On my way to the gym I was following a trail of SPKs on the ground (sour patch kids). At first I didn't think it was a big deal because it was mostly green and yellow ones but eventually I found the mother load, orange and red too!!! What a shame! Well, they weren't going to be a complete waste because I found some birdies snacking on them. I was glad that they were being put to good use, I mean someone has to eat them, but then I became concerned about the birds. No one would be able to tell them to not eat too many because they will burn your tongue! Poor little guys.

So at the grocery store after filling my basket I went to the self check out since that is the best customer service you will find in DC. Even though I didn't get that much stuff I still spent $51, D'oh, over budget. I hit the cash payment button to pay. This would be a good time to mention that the money I grabbed from my dresser before was all singles...that's right. Oh well I thought, I'm going to do it, no one is behind me. After about $8 in I realized how long this was going to take, but I wasn't turning back now, still no one was waiting in line. But then the worst thing happened. The girl working at Giant decided she wanted to clean that area when I was done with it, so now I had her standing over my shoulder watching me with my wad of one dollar bills. Of course some of them wouldn't take and it took all in all a very long time. I should probably mention that to top it all off, I was $4 short and had to use my debit card for the rest.

Oh well, I still feel that if I had gone to a cashier she would have rolled her eyes at me for having to count all the dolla billz!

I'd rather be...

The other day when I was taking a very long time to park my car, Courtney (shout out to one of our followers) noticed the license plate frame on the car in front of us said "I'd rather be scuba diving". After reading it, Court made a good point and said "that can't always be true". I thought about that more today when I saw one that said "I'd rather be riding my bike". Really? What if it was raining cats and dogs, would you REALLY rather be riding your bike? If that were truly the case, why do you have this car at all to put this license plate flair on? People really need to think about the type of message they are sending.

I also saw a vanity plate the other day that said Gr8 legs, but I couldn't catch up to see if it were a male or female, I really wanted to know!

Nikki and Gina's strained relationship

Ever since Gina has started her new job, our communication level has totally dropped off. Back in the day when something made me laugh, I could simply pick up the phone and call her at FP. Nowadays, I have to email or text her and wait at least 3 minutes for a response. I really hope we can get through this difficult time in our relationship. To try and work it out we have maintained texting each other as soon as one of us wakes up, emailing while at the office and then texting each other until sleep. This seems to help fill the gap.

Last night was the first night of Police Week. Gina did a wonderful interpretive dance to bagpipes playing Amazing Grace. Who invented bagpipes anyways? Probably someone super annoying like Rachel Ray.

During Police Week we are allowed to wear jeans and such. I think tonight Gina and I will take it to the next level and wear denim overalls with no shirts under neath.

Doozie of a weekend

For the record I never threw up into my purse. It what was decided as my best option when I thought I was going to ralph on the bus. I'm sure someday it will come down to that, as riding the bus makes me sick, even on a good day.

When I was in college I was able to go out three or four nights in a row, no problem. Now, I have 4 or 5 drinks and I can't lift my head off the pillow the next day. At this rate, by the time I'm 30 I'll have a beer and will have to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

This week kicks off police week at the Channel. Gina and I are very excited to get hit on by cops and to be allowed to be rude to them in return since we know they won't remember it the next day, speaking of light weights!

Doozie of a weekend

My my this weekend was a doozie. Or a boozie, I shall say. At the ripe old age of 25, I've finally determined that I might just be too old to drink. Maybe I am out of practice, maybe I am so slim and trim that the alcohol affects me differently than it once did, or maybe I am just getting too damn old to process that liquid gold. My fun-filled Thursday night resulted in a two-day long headache and multiple hours of sickness on Friday.

I hopped in a cab to meet up with some friends for lunch on Friday, knowing full well that the results could have been very embarassing. I knew things were turning sour when the sweat started beading down my forehead and my mouth started salivating. Quickly, I ran through my options in my head--do I ask the cab driver to pull over so I can be sick (been there, done that), do I puke in my purse like Nikki, do I just stick my head out the window, or do I try to play a mental game. I opted for the latter of the choices. I had a great little chat with inner Gina, "come on Gina, you got this, you can do this, you can do anything. Clean your act up. You're a grown woman" I rolled down the window all the way- maybe some fresh air will help? NO! Finally I arrive at my destination to see my co-workers so happy to see me and give me hugs. "Oh what a long cab ride, I really need to use the bathroom" I said, as my insides screamed "QUIT TALKING YOU FOOL!" I then bolted to the bathroom and all was well. For lunch I enjoyed some beef lasagne. I won't even get into what happened after that. (I never said I was bright...)

More about anti-pick up lines

One would ask themselves how people have survived their whole lives being so stupid? One day, the following conversation took place:

Stupid Man: "Excuse me, who is watching your children while you are working?"
Gina: "I don't have any kids, why do you ask?"
Stupid Man: "You don't have kids? You look like a baby factory!"




Dear Stupid Man,
Why are you so stupid? You were quite obviously hitting on me. This pick up line did not work and would never work. Children do not turn me on.


As a side note: Please do not refer to me as mouth watering....although food does turn me on.

First entry!

Gina and I have often discussed how we felt that our own reality show would be very beneficial to all of the people who believe that all of the crazy things that happen to us are our own doing. Since no television producers have approached us yet about our own show, we have decided to take matters into our own hands by creating a blog. We will use this opportunity to show our followers that we simply experience these happenings to no fault of our own.

Our first entry will be about pick up lines that do not work. On Friday night at the Channel a man asked me if I was pregnant, when I told him no, he then asked me if I would like to be. I'm not sure how a guy could think that this would be a good way to hit on a woman. I suggest to you men that unless you would like to be hit with a child support court date, you shouldn't go around asking women that, especially someone like me who has a protruding beer belly and say Gina who has an 8 month old fetus in her butt.

I am especially excited because I do not have much work to do for the rest of the afternoon so this should really help me get this thing up and running!